Indrani S Mukherjee

May 29, 2019 | Read time: 4 mins

May 29, 2019 | Read time:

Mother of Avyukt Mukherjee (Jr. Toddler, Klay HSR)

Working Mothers Are Mothers Too! Let’s Not Demean Them

I was told stories soon after my marriage on how working mothers are not perfect, how a woman suffered a miscarriage because she was working, how the bonding of a child-mother gets affected if a woman is working and many such negative tales. Today, when I am writing this I am neither afraid nor undergoing any sense of guilt but yes, 6 years before, on hearing such stories I was petrified, depressed, and at times used to question my inner-self, should I quit my job before I plan for a baby? Thanks to my stars for blessing me with a partner who stood like a pillar with me. In the year 2016, I gave birth to our son Avyukt while not quitting my job. I am proud to be a working mother and not ashamed or guilty of being so because I have refused to buy into guilt mongers.

We all need to cognize one simple thing that no mother whether working or non-working will ever put her interests before her child. Giving birth is not an easy process, a woman undergoes not only physical, hormonal but emotional changes as well. How can one dare to question a mother? I am amazed at the audacity! Who has given right to the society to set a ‘bar’ on what it means to be a ‘great parent’? or whether I should keep my child in a daycare or not? I mean more than us, the society knows what is best for my child or how should I raise him? Seriously???

Unfortunately, we often strive to be the ‘great parent’ without even realizing it. The ‘bar’ has been set so high that we fail miserably in reality and thus the sense of guilt. Instead, it’s important to realize that as individuals, we all differ in our personalities and preferences. Similarly, every family has their own way of raising their children. We are no one to critique and judge, if possible we should encourage or help them. To those who love to criticize a working mother, my reply to them is “PLEASE MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS”. Just as I do not expect my boy to be perfect, I cannot expect myself to be perfect either. I am sure, all working mothers like me leaves no stone unturned and tries incredibly hard to be the best parent they can but if due to my professional commitments, I miss a PTM (parent teacher meeting) or my son stays in after school daycare, does this makes me a less loving and caring mother? I refused to believe and accept this social stigma against working mothers and strongly condemn it.

Over the years, right from planning a baby, pregnancy, delivery, and raising a toddler, I have been believing on few of the below mentioned principles that helps me in bridging the gap from a guilty working mother to a non-guilty:

  • Realize that there is no such thing as being a ‘perfect mother’. All mothers are the best for their children
  • Always believe that you are doing the best you can for your child
  • Try to be a positive role model for your child and for that start trusting and appreciating yourself
  • Understand that parenting is not easy
  • Take help from your husband, remember you are also working and husbands are no exceptions. If you can manage house and office, they should also do
  • Stay away from people who make you feel guilty
  • Spend quality time with your child whenever possible
  • Go for vacations and forget the rest of the word when you are with your child
  • Laugh and play with your child, try to be his/her best friend

I pray to almighty and believe that while being a working mother, we would be able to raise our boy to a good human being. Mothers whether working or not should never be criticized as becoming a mother is not easy and so as the journey of parenthood.

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