‘The purpose of Parenting is not raising the child, but raising our own self…’
Raising our own self…!!! What could that even be? We are already raised, grown-up adults with a formed mind structure, a pattern of thoughts and hold good enough experience to nurture and raise our children. Then what is it all about?
Well, in the process of growing up we have somewhere succumbed to the conditioning of the outer world, thus losing the real person that we are. For example, society tells us to look a certain way, get a certain kind of job, and achieve some goals by a certain age. These external pressures restrict us from enjoying the smaller joys of life. Raising our own self applies to looking beyond the external and being what we really are.
The last one year through the pandemic brought with it huge shifts in our lives, both personally and professionally. This is a known reality to all, that we were pinned by challenges, uncertainties, fears of the known and unknown. Each one has waded through this phase in their own way. Some are still swimming the current, while some have reached the safe edge. What’s important is the kind of feelings, thoughts, and mindsets we are carrying on now.
Related: Coping As A Parent In A Pandemic
Had this year been like an eye-opener to us in terms of restructuring and assimilating certain beliefs about ourselves? This is something one really needs to think through. From a broader spectrum of society, economically and psychologically each person has been in the state of survival against reality. Yet what is that one thing which has guarded the sense of survival… It is the Immunity of the Mind, Body and Soul.
Immunity of body and physical health has been much talked about by many sources, throughout the year. But what about the immunity of the Mind and Soul? These are deeper elements, playing a huge role in the background. The mind by itself a powerful tool, if used with the intensity of channelizing the energy in a mindful way. Having said that, the next situation we are all going to face is about the children returning to the schools virtually and physically (When the Centers reopen)
Experiences and learning from Early Years (0-6 years) form the base for 90% of brain development and hence resulting in most of the implanting in the brain. This implanting forms the pattern of our perceptions, thus forming the base for every thought and action. Here’s a real example, “As a child, I was often compared to my brother who was two years older than me. I was told how good he was at studies, and how obedient he was. With repeated comparisons by a few relatives, family members and even the common teachers in school, I developed a strong thought of ‘I am not good enough. Now, this implanted thought processed into my subconscious, and I began to look at every situation with the same lens, that I am not good enough. Fortunately, I was guided by a Psychologist on how I could rework this deeply seeded thought process, which I did, and finally changed it to, ‘I am good enough and I don’t have to be like someone else to prove myself. I love and accept myself. This awareness helped me unleash from the deeply seeded thought process, and everything around me began to change. I began doing things fearlessly, without any self-judgement, This indeed helped me develop my confidence as a mom and also my children, in their growing up years to become more authentic and emotionally balanced.
As a Mindful Parent, this is the first step to effective parenting. It’s about unleashing from the hook of experiences, which may have rooted into the subconscious by now. This is what a Conscious and Mindful Parent needs to be doing so that it doesn’t get passed on to our children.
What we think, how we act/react, our decision-making ability, our problem-solving skill defines our strength/weakness in the perception of our children. At every step, with every voice, we are building something in them. Children are constantly being stimulated through us. Hence the need to vary ourselves.
Also Read: Special Needs and COVID-19
Unconsciously we have been passing our fears and anxieties to our children. Our worries related to job, business, career or even relationships has been playing on them. Without much effort, we have somewhere made them a part of these temporary hurdles. It’s time, we accept and start believing that these situations would not be there forever, but what we leave in our children will definitely remain forever.
As responsible and caring parents, we have been cautious of the physical health of children. Now it’s time to nurture their mental well-being too, of course, this has to be done mindfully and consciously.
HAPPY AND MINDFUL PARENTING!
Preethi is based out of Bangalore. She is a Psychologist, Educationist, a Mind Wellness Architect, and an Author. She comes with an experience of 20 years in the Educational field, of which most of them she has spent with the Early Years. She is the Regional Curriculum Manager here and enjoys the Creativity and learning that comes along the way.
With children out of school, physical distancing as the new norm, and children’s rights under threat, the new world order has “turned back the clock” on years of progress made on children’s well-being. However, it’s not all bad. As a human race, we’ve been built to adapt: we’ve seen a tipping point in technology-enabled education and the promise of a new education policy in our country.