How to Raise Boys for Tomorrow
Until you get one, you don’t start thinking about it and since I have a son now, the question arises as to how I can raise him to be the man that I want him to be.
We always hear things on how daughters need to be raised- make them independent, teach those ways of protecting themselves amid danger, etc. But there is very less written and said on how we need to raise our sons. The values and the principles that we instil in our sons to make them better human beings first and a better man (perfect is too over rated) later.
Following few things can help raising our little boys to be more responsible and mature:
1) Neutralizing gender: The emphasis needs to be put on neutralizing between girl and a boy. The stress should be on human or a person rather than calling out explicitly it’s a girl or a boy.
2) Gender agnostic traits: The schooling starts at home first. Thus, the colloquial language that we are generally used like girls gossip, men are unorganized should be avoided in front of children. The age old gender traits that we casually say loud would put the people in categories for the child which he would carry with him throughout his life. Let him learn goodness in people, their traits and habits by observing rather than feeding him with information!
3) Let them help you: With ever increasing chances of boys moving out from parent’s house for studies/career. It is all the more important for boys to be self-reliant in basic household work. Thus, avoid distinguishing roles at home basis the gender. Encourage boys to help with household work like setting up dinner table for meals, helping with grocery shopping, etc.
4) Teach consequences: Learning that every action has a consequence and they cannot get away by doing anything in life would help them grow up more responsible. You can attach the rewards and gratification with their actions. If your son forgets to pack his school bag late in the night, don’t do it for him even when it means that he has to get up a little early to do it himself.
If we are able to raise sons who are sensible, mature and with good values then we would not have to teach girls any different from what we teach our boys.
A concerned mom!