10 things people have said to me (and really shouldn’t have): A humorous take on the daily frustrations of a first (or second, or third) time mom
– Nayona Agarwal
“Just 10?!”, you say? I imagine there are loads more, but these were the top 10 most insensitive things I’ve heard from people close and not so close to me since my pregnancy. How many have you heard so far?
Said to me seconds after delivery: That’s a strange choice for a name…I don’t like it/it doesn’t make me happy.
What I should have said, but didn’t: Well it’s a good thing I’m not naming my baby to make YOU happy/sad/whatever…oh and YOU suck! Where are your manners?!
(Can you hear the post-natal hormones in that response?)
Said to me: I’m so bored with your pregnancy…
What I should’ve said, but didn’t: Good, now leave me alone…forever!
Said to me (by my OB): You are a very negative person…it will transfer to your baby.
What I should’ve said, but cried bitterly instead: Uhmmm, actually I’m in a crazy amount of pain from major surgery…why don’t you do your job and make me feel positive with some good pain meds?
Said to me during pregnancy (and too often): OMG! Don’t touch that coffee/tea/random other food!
What I said: I’ll touch whatever I want! Keep your archaic beliefs to yourself!
Said to me soon after delivery (by nurses): If you don’t breastfeed your baby now/immediately/more/less/enough, you will not bond with the baby and he will not love you.
What I should’ve said, but didn’t: Tell my breasts to make more milk then…and if only breastfeeding created bonds and love, we’d have world peace, no? Such a simply solution!
Said to me by other moms: Wait till you have to XYZ…
What I think: Give me advice on how to deal with it and not just warn me and tell me how horrible life will be.
Said to me: Does he cry?
What I try not to say, but say it anyway: Uhmm he’s a baby, so uh yeaaaaah
Said to me: Why is he doing that (some movement, expression, etc.)? Is that normal?
What I should have said: Shut up and leave! My hormones have me panicked enough, I don’t need your powers of observation to exacerbate my fears! And you know what’s not normal? Your face!
Said to me by someone who’s never even met me/my child: OMG! Why are you putting him through speech therapy? That is so cruel. He’ll talk when he’s ready!
What I didn’t say: I’m sorry I’ve offended you by my parenting choices. Where do you have a child psychology degree from?
Said too often: I didn’t ask you to join us at the team outing because I assumed you’d be busy at home with your baby.
I’ve never been able to stop myself from saying this: THANK YOU! I’ve always wanted someone to make my decisions for me! Of course moms only ALWAYS want to be with their babies. Great job thinking for me!
So, what is the craziest thing said to you? Have you been able to find the humour in it and laugh it off? Did you have a quip or witty retort ready?
With children out of school, physical distancing as the new norm, and children’s rights under threat, the new world order has “turned back the clock” on years of progress made on children’s well-being. However, it’s not all bad. As a human race, we’ve been built to adapt: we’ve seen a tipping point in technology-enabled education and the promise of a new education policy in our country.